When you want to explore an idea, take a break, or change direction in life – do you ask others for permission? Are you someone who will consider options and make a decision based on your values and resources, or do you tend to set aside your own priorities and sacrifice your health, sanity, or integrity to please others?
A broad definition of ‘permission’ is consent, authorization, an ‘ok’ – basically, approval from others. Permission can be appropriate and useful in many circumstances; however, a pattern of repeated sacrifices to one’s health and well-being can be harmful, including when practiced as self-loathing. Habits of trying to ‘keep up with the Joneses’, feed someone else’s ego, or serve someone else’s values damage one’s mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.
Steps to practice in giving yourself permission:
- Take time to really evaluate your core values.
- Pay attention to (and maybe change) the language you use with yourself.
- Learn more about setting healthy boundaries: Talk to a qualified coach or counselor.
- Remember to consider the context in which you and others behave – we all have a story.
- Are you a human? Human’s make mistakes. Humans change their minds.
- Consider the Higher Principles of Gratitude, Acceptance, Compassion, Meaning, and Forgiveness.
The tough stuff can also be the most meaningful, the most healing. These practices include setting and keeping boundaries; showing compassion for self and others; and adapting to circumstances while maintaining integrity. I “dare” you to give yourself permission: to take an extra moment of quiet time, to step away from your work station for lunch, to read a book simply for fun. Best wishes!
-Nicole Burow, Health & Wellness Coach